Ramadhan is just near the corner! Alhamdulillah.^_^
In Facebook, people keep sharing the reminders about Ramadhan.^_^ This is when facebook becomes something quite beneficial. And I feel happy, yes, I'm happy I have time to prepare myself before the real month come. =) Got to prepare myself mentally, physically and spiritually for Ramadhan.
And I'm actually working on my Qur'an recitation, which is to make it better, and I hope I can maintain it for the whole Ramadhan. I'm currently practicing, how about you? Let's improve our quantity and quality of ibadah.
But, as far as I know, Ramadhan, it's not only about the ibadah we did during Ramadhan. Fasting, Qur'an recitation, good deeds, cannot just stop there in Ramadhan. It must be continuously done for the next next months.
It's about every single thing in ourselves, to be improved everyday, and this special month is a good start.
This is what I have been thinking. After 20 years of living, I do realize, I have a lot of weaknesses. This is what I should be worried of.
As a women, I'm emotionally unstable. I hope it's normal. And I feel sorry for those who live around me, if in any case, I hurt their feeling. I did feel guilty.
But then I learn, a lot, on how to control the emotion. I start identify the mistakes and weaknesses I had and try not to repeat all over again.
But after all the efforts, I find it's more easy to change than to maintain. It's quite challenging, but I take it as a test from Allah.
But as me myself put so much effort to control my imperfect self, I hope people around me put some effort too, at least to actually understand me and be easy on me. I will no longer be the same, I'm on my way to improve myself insyaAllah.
In some cases, I can now control my anger,even though it may take some time to cool down. But I never promise that I will never do it anymore. I mean I may repeat it again, without I even realize. This is when people should at least remind me.
But the hope for people to understand my situation, is still burdensome. Because how can people know our condition perfectly?
To think people might judge me on what I have done before, rather than seeing my efforts to improve myself, give me a little bit feeling of unfairness.
Because seems like most people just don't really care what effort you put, as long as the result is good. People just being so judgmental, without they even realize.
Then I believe it's less burden if I put my trust on Allah, the one Who actually watch over me and the efforts I put. At last, He is the one Who judge, so as long as I follow His guidance, I should not be worry.
as long as I follow His guidance, I should not be worry.
That means as long as I follow all His rules, and avoid doing something He forbids. It's the main point here, no matter how hard you wanna change, but if you still do what Allah say NO, it may becomes way too difficult to yourselves.
So work hard to be His good slave insyaAllah. Then only we can let Allah do the rest for us.
With trust in Allah, no matter how many times we fail, we always have another chance to work on it again..Just keep on trying, even though people might getting bored with you, but Allah will never getting bored. Because He understand us better than anyone else. Just have faith on Him.
Honestly, I'm not really sure if anyone can actually understand me. Because me myself, find it's hard to understand me. But it's not a big deal. Allah understand me. That was better.^_^
So this coming Ramadhan, I hope I can be a lot better. Pray for me, okay?
Let's become a good one, for the sake of Allah. May Allah bless all of us, amiiin.^_^
And I find this entry is one long entry about myself. Just a sharing moment. I know someone is reading this, perhaps smiling?=)
Be careful with me.
Ok, just kidding.=)